unspoken thoughts ♥

  that moment when you're thinking of someone and you start laughing or smiling out of nowhere  

got the sudden feel to blog, and this feeling is kinda rare. hahas.

feeling the need to grow up already, ever since my 21st birthday passed. and especially so when im the eldest child in the family. daddy wanted me to work for him this holiday and he say he hope that i can work when sch starts. going to help him with his accounts. he say its better to have family member taking care of the accounts than an outsider. i agreed, and cos its family business i cant say no. even my mum said that i have to start learning how the company operates slowly. never thought my parents would wan me to help them in their business. 

and working means less time for baby and friends. nt to say i need to have some time to take care and wash the hamster cages. have to start prioritising stuff already. haiix

suddenly so many responsibilities. so many things to take care of, to think through, to act it out sensibly. 

i know my dad has all along been preparing me to be independent, teaching me stuff along the way like handling money, how to be a better person. bt as a pisces, being very emotional, often words come out faster than whatever logic/sense. as much as i tried to change that side of me, it has proven to be quite a futile task. cos whenever im upset and i have nowhere to say out how i felt at that instance, it would make everything so much worse.

on a side note, i love counting money and see the money multiply (even though i cant really plan my own finances, irony). im money faced. babyy would agree to that. hahahahas. and i cant control myself when i see nice clothes online, like really cant. ==" .. its a good thing i have no debit card. shopping at gmarket and learning how to be selective in wow-ing over the clothes there proved to be a very extremely tough thing for me to do. (and i can bet w you that emilyn is either laughing or nodding her head. hahahas.)

just a short blog post. cos im nt used to the feeling of having to grow up so fast. blahhh.

will blog a more normal blog post next time.

till here,

  "even though people are left behind, new ones will inevitably take their place" - The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks  

taking a break from studying at home. boredddddd. 

love reading Nicholas Sparks books. so addictive, especially when the story is starting to reach its climax. couldnt put down the book today when im taking a break from studying in the afternoon. 

17 more days to my first paper. think i screwed up my year 2, yet again. just not disciplined enough. cant study at home, more productive when studying outside, but sometimes too lazy to head out to study. revision lectures filled the entire month of april. so drained, esp last week. had 6 days of sch. to the extent that ytd when i woke up, i feel that i have no energy, whole body nua nua. studying would be so much easier now if i started early, but oh wells, too late for regrets and im not really the kind who will start early on revision. thats just not me. 

so many good movies coming up this april and may. but im busy mugging for exams. ==" .. i love watching movies in the movies theater alot. 

bought a bigggg tub of yoguru home to eat. ate a bit of it in the afternoon. wise choice to have bought it. cos yogurt cheers me up abit. im nt the stayhome kind of girl, so being at home the whole day, staying in the room, is a big torture to me. i like going out, enjoy sports. ahh, i did say i hate the sun, so i like playing sports when its not that sunny. abit zilian, but i like the way my legs look after exercising. been so long since i played bball and go jogging. cant wait for the next outing, will suggest cycling again. very determined to learn how to cycle. then i can ask for a bicycle from my parents and i can cycle everywhere i want (near my hse ones)! i want to learn swimming too, but oh wells, think learning how to swim is hard for me cos i hate it when the water enter my nose, so pain. ~.~

babyy said that im the only girl he knows that dont play game. well, i played audition and maple before, but played for a very short period of time. lose interest in games very fast. like i got my current smartphone, dl games, but other than wordsearch, dai di, scramble, the rest that i dl-ed, i din even played them. and those 3 games, i would only play them when i get sleepy on long train rides or waiting for ppl. i just cant appreciate games. 

"she puts up walls not because she dislikes you, but to make sure she doesnt get hurt like she did in the past."

need to go back to study already. shall blog again next time!

till here,

  "the scariest thing about distance is that you dont know whether they'll miss you or forget you." - Nicholas Sparks  

the week which i dreaded the most, is going to be here in about 5 days time and im so not looking forward to it. 8 lectures that week, from mon to sun (except fri). out of 8 lectures, i will be alone for 7 lectures. ALONE FOR 7 LECTURES. seriously kill me. esp for tues, looong day, 8.30am to 6.30pm, ALONE! :'( .. i hated being alone, i hated the feeling of loneliness and boredom.

"i feel like screaming, because i dont have anyone to talk to"

yeah, thats how i probably will feel. gawd. cant stand the fact that i got so reliant on other people. where has the old me disappeared to? the me who is happily alone, happily independent. 

"its like everytime i get comfortable, something bad happens and it ruins everything"

pretty true right? and that feeling kinda sucks.

got the feeling to study for prelims, and now the feeling is gone. and my end of years is coming in less than a month's time and im nt prepared. great, just great. 

oh wells, im just ranting. ignore me. will post a happy post, hopefully soon.

till here, 

no meanings behind whatever is written in pink, i just find it very nice and meaningful. :) .. esp when the guy sang "in another life, you will be my girl". so sweet. but the song is a sad song though. love this version compared to the original one. :)

been so long since i last updated my blog. emilyn nagging at me liao. hahas. i'll try to recall what happened these few months. 

21jan: babyy's bday! woke up super early to prepare. headed down to ion orchard and buy his cakes. awfully chocolates cakes are nice! they are not those super duper sweet kind. the sweetness is just right~ :D .. then tried to find the taxi stand at ion, got abit lost. the stupid signs point everywhere one. ==" .. when i reached babyy's block, i text him, telling him that he can leave hse. i hide at a corner near the lift there. and when he appear, i hugged him. he chua tio, darn funny. headed down to oub or uob building, cant rmb, for sakae buffet! babyy super long nvr eat sakae lerh. and he keep aiming the salmon sushi. most of the salmon sushi on the rotating thingy is eaten by him. ==" .. headed down to marina square after that for bowling session! he darn pro sia. ==" .. so ashamed to say that my cca in jc is bowling. zzz .. went for his family dinner. his family also celebrating his bday. :D .. babyy blush when all of us sing "happy birthday" song, so cuteeeeeee. :D .. went home early cos nxt day is chinese new year eve.

26.01.2012: babyy and my first year anniversary. :D .. but i got severe diarrhea, end up he came over and took care of me. supposed to eat good food one! :( .. when i recovered, babyy and i went to buy ingredients for spaghetti and we cooked spaghetti tgt. :D

14feb: 2nd valentine's day w love. babyy bought me a stitch iphone 4 casing and a stitch w flower. got stared by alot of girls! cos all they got was a bear in between those flowers but mine is stitch! :D .. went to junction 10 and had thai food. porn's. babyy say its nice! everytime he recommend nice food for me, so my turn to recommend nice food for him to eat. then headed down to lot1 cos he wanted to change his phone to iphone 4s. the moment he got his new iphone, i immediately put my stitch casing on. then i realise, its so darn cute, then i keep telling him i want to buy a iphone too. went back to my hse for him to setup his new iphone stuff. had mac for dinner then watched him play arcade before going home. 

26feb: me and babyy's 13th month! :D .. watched movie then had haagen daz for dinner. cos i got voucher. hahas. then he brought me to the Singapore flyer. first trip to Singapore flyer. happyyyy. been wanting to go since ages ago but no one bring me there. im afraid of heights, so somehow was abit dizzy when i entered the flyer cabin. jiu suddenly dizzy. ~.~ .. but after a while jiu okay lerh! took photos! then on our way out, there is a souvenir shop and inside, there is a machine where you can print designs on a coin. cost $2. and i got one for free! cos the other couple couldnt get the coin out, but babyy managed to do so! both of us stunned. hahas. tried looking for the couple but they gone lerh, so i keep the coin as souvenir. happyyyyyy. :D .. walked to marina square. walked ard for abit before taking train home. 

28feb: poa prelims! do-able. i pia a lot of questions before going. i only studied 6 topics out of 16? ==" .. then i forgot the format of cash flow statements. zzz 

1march: macro prelims! ehhh, do-able also, but as usual, lazyyy then do last min studying, end up very little things get into my head. so end up couldnt do the paper, when its quite easy. zzz 

3march: stats2 prelims! idiot, the topic i studied so hard for never come out. zzz .. end up so many probability qn came out and i suck at doing probability qn. =="

5march: travelled ard. babyy lost his ibanking device, so went to get a new one. headed to 2 recruit express branches in jurong cos babyy want to find job. headed down to ssdc, enrolled for his basic theory test. rushed down to united square for dinner with his family. buffet! super nice. *saliva* .. that dinner is to celebrate my birthday as well as his sister and his mum's birthday. had an awesome dinner. :D .. went back to tpy with babyy and his siblings to play pool. fun fun. :D .. cabbed home cos its quite late lerh.

10march: maths2 prelims! din want to go initially cos its on a saturday but given my love my maths, i still went, halfheartedly. hahas. the paper was do-able! just that i lazy do so many differentiation in one 5marks qn so i skipped the qn. hahahas. and some other qn also. but got 2 qn i cfm dont know how to do, or haven use my brains to think abt the solutions yet. hahas. headed down to tpy for another dinner w babyy's family. the food also nice! goshhhh. headed home after the dinner.

in between the papers, studied a few times with emilyn. still remembered one very funny incident. had early dinner on one of the days, then i scared i hungry so i went to search for energy bar in the sch. one vending machine near the library got sell. put one dollar in and then one energy bar came out, with 90cents change. emilyn qi dao~~ .. i keep laughing. hahahahs.

12mar: headed down to funan to buy my new laptop. parents' gift for me. bt till now, im still using the old laptop, since it still can be used. :D .. babyy helped me carry the heavy things. thank you! :D .. cabbed home. and realised mama hamham like nt moving lerh. very stiff. :(( .. babyy held her in his hands. she struggled for quite some time. called pets lover and they directed me to the nearest vet. it only open at 7pm. by that time, mama hamham had already passed away. :(( .. she got tumor. and on 15th march, its hers and papa hamham derh bday. :(( .. handed her body to the receptionist at the vet and they help me cremate her. 

14march: my 21st birthday! old lerh, old lerh. babyy came and surprised me, the same way i did for his bday. he bought another 2 hamsters for me, one male and one female. they very cute. :D .. black faced robos. had cupcake as my bday cake. very nice! :D .. cabbed down to sunshine plaza for dimsum. the dimsum there, is omgggggggg, *saliva drops*, super niceeeeeeeee! got one bao got egg yolk inside. when you eat it, the juice will slowly flow into your mouth. *flyyyyyy* .. and the siew mai, superb! got egg on it also. *flyy even more* .. hahahs. went over to iluma to buy tickets to "act of valor". the show so bloodyyyyyy. ~.~ .. babyy bought another backpack for me at bugis street and a storybook from kino. :D .. had jap food for dinner. the cha wan zhen super nice. ate alot of eggs that day. face round round. ~.~

15march: fed papa hamham pudding, cos its his bday! :D .. played with other 3 hamham as well.

17march: outing! babyy came over to my hse cos meimei hamham gave birth but the babies din survive. :( .. i panicked. sorryyyy. then bused down to dhoby and met up with emilyn, faulin and efendi! buy tickets to "john carter". the movie is weird. like really weird. ==" .. nt my type of movie. so avatar-ish. dont like. had manhattan for dinner! then went to walk around, played arcade. babyy and efendi got so much chemistry when playing bball. ==" .. so much more when playing w me. zzz .. i played w emilyn. she violent siaaaaaaa. the ball she threw keep flyingggg towards meeeeeee. violent girl. hahahas. [x .. movie-d then said goodbye to faulin. the 4 of us headed down to east coast park to cycle. stupid babyy, keep trying to scare me. tskkkkkkkkk. reached east coast, walked super long to the big big mac. sat down there and rest. played dai ti. until one mac personnel "chased" us out cos we playing poker cards. went to rent bicycles! one double bike for me and babyy cos i dont know how to cycle and two single bikes for efendi and emilyn. emilyn cycle so cute. hahhaas. then the 3 of them tired lerh, so i used the time to learn how to cycle. and i did manage to learn a little! happy! went back to the mac again then something happened. something very stupid larh. those 2 guys just want to scam money nia. tskkkkkkk. anyways, returned the bikes at ard 5plus after i ate hashbrown and drank milk. bused then trained home. k.o when my head hits the pillow. fun, but super tiring. had muscle aches all over my bodyyyy.

okayyy, im supposed to be studying, but after 6pm, my attention span fully gone. totally no mood study liao. ==" .. so much for planning to finish one topic for macro today. zzz

and i removed my braces already! happy! no more tightening! yayyyys. but its so weird, even now, when i looked into the mirror, i cant really recognise myself lerh. why why why? like so different derh feel. 

3 ulcers in my mouth. weather is like shyt these days. zzz .. drank alot of water. and the ulcers hurt. darnnnnn.

my revision lectures going to start. sian. ==' .. school start = 1 month plus to final years. dont feel prepared arhhhh. feel the stress but studying at home isnt productive at all! but i dont want to travel to school to study alone. very zi bi sia, have to eat dinner alone. ~.~ 

shall update soon, hopefully!

 she desperately sought closeness, but when someone came too close, she ran.

till here,      

26dec: 11th month with babyy. met him at somerset. wanted to eat curry rice but alot of people. couldnt wait cos if we wait we wont make it in time for the movie. ate indonesian food instead. not bad larh. then watched sherlock holmes at cine. not bad. quite funny at some parts. walked around 313 after the movie ended. then something happened and babyy got quite pissed off. went to meet my sec sch friends to celebrate huiqi's belated birthday. we tricked huiqi that i got lost so she had to pick me up to the skypark after dinner. and she really believed! darn funny. cut the cake at the skypark there and talked. planned for our next outing. vicky sent us home. thanks. (:

30dec: had an early new yr celebration with my sec sch friends. stayed over at renuka house. managed to somehow persuade my parents to let me go over to stay. went to buy lots of tidbits and mixer for the drinks. watched movies at starhub hbo. played indian poker, charaques (if thats how you spell it) and donkey. forfeit is of course drinking. 4 of us squeezed into the queen size bed and htht. shared stories. :D .. very nice and cosy moments. then we watched big momma. went out for breakfast at around 7am on 31dec before heading home. fun times with them. (:

4jan: met up with emilyn for dinner after my lesson and search for babyy's present at jp. had subway for dinner. and emilyn darn evil. keep laughing at me. tskkk. hahahs. then both of us went to walk around. then go wow, so nice~ but so ex. ==" .. at abt 9.30pm, most shops have closed, so both of us went to a chair in front of courts and sat down and chit chat. talked abt quite alot of stuff, like 21st bday. and time passes super fast, like zoom~ jiu 10plus liao. and i have to be back home early to sleep cos next day got 6hrs lesson. ==" ... but a fun night out with her. :D

7jan: outing with babyy, emilyn and efendi. had billy bombers for lunch. cos emilyn's eyes go very bright when we mention billy bombers. hahahas! [x .. went to bowling alley at marina square. played i think 4 rounds? cant rmb. then still got quite some time so we played an hour of pool before eating light dinner at swensens. headed down to clarke quay. on the way there, we were talking about hangovers, puking, all the funny things that ppl do when they are drank. went to The Chupitos Bar to drink. played zhong ji mi ma. was getting abit light headed when me and emilyn went to the toilet the first time. couldnt walk straight and alot of funny things happened. the things we say and do. hahahas. played till about 12am. and on the way to the taxi stand, i puked. ==" .. like alot. the plastic bag feels heavy. me, babyy and emilyn share cab and efendi took cab by himself. me and babyy vomited under emilyn's hse there. babyy sent me back home, but he is abit drunk lerh. end up he puked again. my dad sent him back home. and im super worried for babyy who nvr return my calls or sms. :(( .. cant sleep. and half of my post was written when i cant sleep. zzz 

and so, after the very happening night, my life has been quite dull. ==" .. nothing much. been saving up for babyy's bday and our 1st year anniversary. sometimes babyy would come down teckwhye find me, sometimes i would go down find him. school's boring. know the exam dates already. so it means time to studyyy. =='

its a bit late but i have new year resolutions too! 

i wan to pass at least 4 out of 5 subjects this year. change all my bad habits, if possible. ==" .. slim down, if possible. ==" .. and suddenly i cant rmb the rest of my resolutions! hahahahas.

oh wells, wan to type somemore but lazy

till here,

didi hamham died. dont know whats the actual cause. 

he was sick, on 02january2012. me and babyy brought him to pets lovers centre at lot1. the person told us he got skin irritation and something else. his chest was red, his nose was red, and he cant walk properly. cant balance as well. clean the cage and apply lotion on him as well as other hamham. added medicine to their food as well.

03january2012, i woke up early in the morning then checked on him as well as the other 3 hamham. didi hamham seemed to have gotten worse. one of his eyes cant open. and his chest was super red. he seemed so lifeless. papa hamham seemed to know that something is wrong. papa hamham just lied quietly beside didi hamham. called babyy and he suggested that we go book an appt for vet. babyy came and we cabbed down to nex. on the way there, didi hamham stopped moving, no matter how much we tried to wake him up, he doesnt move. i asked babyy if didi hamham is dead, babyy just said probably. i couldnt take it, i broke down in the cab. rushed to the vet after alighting the cab. and the vet told us, didi hamham is dead. i cried. 

babyy said he wanted to buy a new hamham for me but he also knew that i wont want it, cos the new hamham he buy cant replace didi hamham. he is special. he is not a white face robo, when both the parents are white face robo. i still remembered how he looked like when the fur started to grow. 

changed the bedding for papa hamham cage when i reach home, as well as wash the house which didi hamham stayed in when he was sick. cried. couldnt take it. 

i hope he will bless the other 3 hamham.

i will miss you, didi hamham. thanks for being in my life for almost 6months.

                     when i begin to push you away emotionally, you know im getting attached. please, hold on tighter.                     

out with emilyn on 11dec. walked ard 313 and she bought a dress that she likes. then went charles and keith, both of us went crazyyyyyy over the shoes there. she saw one heels she like and i saw one heels that i like too. darn nice. but i din buy. she bought the heels though. headed over to taka to buy "na xie nian" book then to wisma, cos she wan to buy bb cream. had pepper lunch for dinner. then over to far east. went to one of the shops. keep trying clothes. the clothes there really very nice. :D .. and the shopkeeper ask if we are sisters. it has been quite sometime since someone said we look like sisters. hahas. bought one dress which i like. then we sat down and chit chat over lots of things.. (:

watched alvin and the chipmunks 3 on 16dec with babyy at the cathay after i went to rebond my hair. awwww, they are so darn cute. and babyy kept laughing cos he say he saw me in the movie. and the me he saw was theodore, the fat green chipmunk. tskkkkkkk. ==" .. and he lie to me larhhh, he say he wan go shop but in actual fact he already book the movie tickets online already. zzz .. had astons for dinner then watched 钱不够用2 on my phone while waiting for the movie to show. after the movie, we went to plaza sing and walked ard abit. he bought 2 t-shirts and 1 jeans. and i keep saying that he is very shuai that day cos he wearing a not-so-formal blazer which i bought for him. then sometimes when i say too loud, ppl will turn and look at us and he will paiseh. ==" .. tskkk, those ppl nvr see shuai ge before arh. *piack them* .. trained home. :D

went out with babyy and his family on 18dec to town. headed to ion for dinner, walked around for abit then nth to buy so headed down to 313 somerset. his mum and sis walked around, cos his sis wan to buy cny clothes. and his mum bought a hairband for me as xmas present. o.o .. quite shocked but i liked the hairband alot, so thanks! :D .. then me, babyy and his dad sat down at coffeebean to talk while his mum and sis shopped. at around 9plus, his mum and his sis joined us. and his parents told me alot of funny things about babyy when he was young! laugh die me. din know he so cute when he was young. hahahahahahs. then trained home at about 10pm.

had a gathering with my events friends on 20dec. babyy, me, emilyn, faulin and efendi met up. went to ksuites to sing and play bluff. 5 jugs of housepours- 3jugs of green tea whisky and 2jugs of cranberry vodka. me, emilyn and faulin keep losing, so we kept drinking. but lucky for the last jug, babyy changed place with emilyn so me and emilyn spared from drinking. but faulin keep losing for the last jug. according to babyy, im having abit of hangover. ==" .. had astons for dinner. stomach wasnt feeling very well. felt like vomiting. and lots of funny things happened. emilyn so funny sia. hahahahahas. then had a late night movie. mission impossible at iluma. i was trying to concentrate for the movie cos my stomach was quite uncomfortable. so din really enjoyed the movie. ~.~ .. shared cab home with emilyn and babyy. and faulin and efendi shared cab home. reached home at abt 12.45am like that. had a fun day nonetheless. :D .. hope we have more gatherings and i can stay out late late! :D

eeeee, dentist say still cannot take out my upper braces yet, cos my 2 front teeth is not of the same length. difference by 1mm. ==" 

been lazy with my blogggg. nothing much to update, really. its just school, school and more school. no holidays, which is depressing. tsk!

school: nothing much. all my modules started lesson already. been very guai. attendance still 100%. if its last year, by now, my attendance would have dropped to 90+%, close to hitting 89%. ==" .. skipped 1.5lect of micro. the lecturer sucks, but i wonder why my friends say he's good. darn. skipped half of my sat lect cos afterall its sat! no mood to stay for the whole lect. and baby came down to sch to find me that sat before coming to my house and watch movies on funshion. saving moneyyyyyy. macro was okay, so far. just have to catch up on whatever is being taught. maths 2 and stats 2 are repeat modules, so quite okay. poa, there are times when its good, there are times when its pretty bad. assignment takes up lots of time and i haven really been catching up on whats taught. only when i get insomnia and i start studying poa, then i manage to understand whats taught. ==" 

my new year resolution for 2012 (even though its still pretty early to set new year resolution but i know i will get lazy to update my blog so might as well say it now) is: pass at least 4 out of 5 modules. for micro to pass, abit hard. totally no motivation to study for it siaaaaaa. darn.

will update soon. hopefully. hahahhaas

till here,

           it wasnt that long, and it certainly wasnt the kind of kiss you see in the movies these days. but it was wonderful in its own ways. and all i can remember about the moment is that when our lips first touched, i knew the memory will last forever.           

okayyy, im having insomnia now. so im taking this time to revive my dead blog.

hmm, not that im very busy from sch or what. just that im plain lazy to update my blog. like im lazy to start hardcore mugging. sounds so boring, so no life. goshhh. ~.~

caught a few good movies the past months, like smurfs, johnny english 2, real steel ( i give 4.5 stars for that. :D), sorcerer and the white snake ( touching plot. (Y) ), you are the apple of my eye (another touching movie), happy feet 2, puss in boots and others. good movies makes me happy. (:

lagging back in studies. really not motivated to start studying hard, but i dont wanna stay for another year and i still wan my second upper. ==" 

just celebrated our 10th months with babyy, this 10 months have been full of laughter, and quarrels. i admit im abit immature and attention seeking. ~.~ .. but hey, im a girl who wanna be loved. 

among all my friends, been meeting up with emilyn the most, for studying, shopping and singing. o.o .. all start with s. hahahas.

too long never write blog liao, suddenly mind blank and dont know what to write.

till here,

i cant sleep, again. gave up trying to sleep. ==" 

school started on 22sep. okay larh, the lecturers i have got are not bad, so far. cant say much now since i have two more modules haven start lesson. micro and macroecons are tough. ~.~ .. so confusing. so many curves to draw. and i really hated drawing curves. poa is okay, quite fun, for now, since its just the basics. hopefully its manageable.

haven been able to sleep since dont-know-when. make me so darn tired in the afternoon. but when my head hits the pillow i become super awake. driving me nuts. and emilyn also suffering from the same problem. end up both of us whatsapp-ing each other at night. hahas.

had dinner with emilyn after school. had a super long chat with her. (: .. talked about alot of things.

and i decided to be stubborn this time round. dont wanna text baby that i cant sleep. cos i feel super duper guilty that i keep texting him every night telling him i cant sleep then end up he cant sleep well also. ): .. i know he's going to scream at me if he sees this. but i want to be stubborn this once.

was crazy just now. cant sleep, so went to research on insomnia. then i was asking emilyn if its weird to go to the doc and tell him that i cant sleep at night. whenever i tell ppl i cant sleep, all their responses are the same, which is "dont think of so many things at night larh". but the thing is my mind is really blank at night. and acc to my research, there are also other causes of insomnia lehhh. ==" .. then emilyn was like jokingly saying- if the doc also ask you dont think so much, i think i will laugh. ==" .. if i hear that response, i will go bang wall sia. zzz

oh wells, lazy to type. shall go do abit of studying and see if i will get sleepy not.

tong kuuuuu arhhhh. ):

and i wan pei babyy do his cold calling tmr derh, but like cannot lerh. ):

till here,

effects of having no shows to watch + nothing to do + not enough sleep = think a lot.

darn.